Lockdown gives us a lot of downtime. There are only so many new shows to stream, so many video games to be played and so much work to do. Eventually, I ran out of stuff to do and started cleaning. And by "cleaning" what I really mean is, "going through an old closet, finding my Transformers from the '80s and playing with them like I was still a child."
If the series of mediocre (at best) Michael Bay films is your only exposure to the Transformers, one might not understand the obsession that so many people have with the robots in disguise. Those of us who grew up watching the cartoon and playing with the toys, Transformers were the coolest thing imaginable.
The toys frickin' transformed. I know this is obvious and stated right there in the name, but I cannot overstate how cool this was. With only a few moves—made while making the sound from the cartoon with your mouth and likely spitting all over the place—the mild-mannered semi-truck turned into the valiant leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime! These toys weren't made out of cheap-ass plastic either, they were made from metal. Actual metal. It was so cool.
Oh, I almost forgot. The original "Transformers: The Movie" was not only the last project Orson Welles worked on, but it was the first time I heard the word "shit" in a cartoon. Really important cinematic history right there.
So, as I spent roughly two hours playing with Bumblebee (as a Volkswagon Bug, not some fancy Camaro), Grimlock ("Me Grimlock no bozo, me king!"), Soundwave (I lost LaserBeak long ago), Megatron and Optimus, I couldn't help but wonder if there were some rad Transformers tattoos out in the world.
These tattoos are more than meets the eye, my friends. Enjoy. Autobots, roll out.